Salieri Meets Wolfgang?!?

What the hell does that mean?

Well, many who know me know that Milos Forman's AMADEUS is my favorite film. It came out when I was about 11, and that doesn't make any rational sense why I'd like it. Wasn't I into STAR WARS and Legos at that point? Well, yes... But when I started getting into film in high school, I discovered this sumptuous, musically-astonishing period piece that was filled with life, and energy and also moral complexity. It also featured two of the best - and most underrated performances in film history. I'm not even a costume picture kind of guy, but AMADEUS seemed to defy any of those expectations and cliches, whether it's Mozart's insanely inappropriate laughter, or the sight of a modestly talented composer throwing a crucifix into a fireplace, engaging in a never-ending fight, not with the genius who torments him, but the god who created him.

That feeling of being inconsequential, of being caught up by forces outside your control, of not being good enough, knowing that the world isn't a level playing field... those were striking themes to a teenager. Even if you felt smart, competent, liked... there's always somewhere you don't stack up - whether or not that's in your own mind or someone else's is up for debate. Is everyone else walking around, worried that they don't stack up too?

These are powerful messages to a 16 year old, and frankly, they're no less powerful the older you get. The problems change, the circumstances evolve, the people are switched out, but it's all still the same stuff in the end.

And this is what makes Salieri one of the ultimate anti-heroes, and by extension, one of the heroes. All at the same time. He can't measure up to Mozart, but it's only in comparison to Mozart that he doesn't live up. Otherwise, he'd be the apple of the Emperor's eye. But there's a flip side too - Mozart's genius doesn't exist unless it's in counterpoint to everything else around it. How do you recognize brilliance if you don't also know mediocrity? In fact, the Patron Saint of Mediocrities is one of the true gifts to the world. I could make religious analogies and comparisons, but that would be pretentious... though I've probably already shot long past that mark.

But what's most interesting is that all of us have parts of Salieri in us, and parts of Mozart. We all have moments of strain, failure, and frustration. But we also have moments of grace, beauty and forgiveness. That perfect line that lights up a room, the thing you did at work that just worked, the way a three-year-old can say "Daddy, I love you" in a way that you know you're doing something that's really important, really right.

So, yes. Salieri meets Wolfgang. Not in a bar, not in the concert hall. But in each of us. At exactly the same time.