Everybody Loves a Happy Ending

In my previous life, I worked as a reader for Hollywood production companies. This supported me while I tried to achieve my big screenwriting break, which never came, despite how close I often seemed to come.

But as a reader, I was rather in demand, one of the few people in town who, not only made a living at it, but could do it through only two companies in my later years. That was pretty impressive from a freelance perspective. It afforded me the ability to get married, get a mortgage, have a child. Pretty decent for a freelance life, though I'm thrilled not to do it anymore.

Anyway, in all those years of critiquing scripts and books, doing notes on projects, and being a low-level critic, there was one project that I loved more than all the rest: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. I did countless notes on early drafts of the script, written by Robin Swicord (Little Women). But it spent ages in development hell, starting and stopping, with millions spent on the most expensive writers in Hollywood, even though Swicord's script was the most beautiful thing I've ever read. It seemed destined never to be made.

When David Fincher eventually attached himself, it was mystifying. Eric Roth (Forrest Gump) as the new writer made sense, but in conjunction with Fincher... huh? But now Brad Pitt was involved, and... it was getting made!

So after 10 years, I saw the film. I won't say much about it, though I did love it. It lived up to the expectations, and left me often in tears. The production was sumptuous and beautiful, and it created a love story that's difficult to pull off in film. Truly, a great love story is not easy, and Fincher of all people pulled it off without too much sentimentality, which Roth is easily guilty of.

But what is more interesting tonight is how the themes of time passing, irreversible, really meshes with my life. I stood on the Paramount lot, surrounded by gorgeous Christmas lights and a fifty foot Christmas tree - the epitome of Hollywood glamour - and was easily reminded of the days I used to have in this industry, which I let go of. Whether out of failure, or exhaustion, or frustration, or the sheer lack of enjoyment... all of those are factors. But, movies are in my DNA, and they are part of me, but these experiences are now few and far between. The only reason I was there is because I still work for Kennedy/Marshall on the side, just because I need the cash with my ex's employment problems. I literally need the money. It's not because I'm important or somehow valued... I'm just on the standard list. Granted, K/M is one of the best companies in Hollywood with a reputation for quality, so it's a great list to be on once a year, but still, it was easy to see just how outside it all I am.

And, for the most part, I'm happy with that. Hollywood's a shitty place, no question. But at the same time, there are those moments, where you see that time can't be reversed, that you have opportunities that pass or are taken advantage of, and then they are gone. That's what Benjamin Button is about, and it couldn't have been more evident if there was a neon sign pointing to it.

Incidentally, there was an absolutely stunning redhead at the premiere. Beige boots, straight hair, probably 5'5. I was captivated by her. If I had balls - which I clearly don't - I would've gone up to her and told her that she was beautiful, and that I'd love to take her for a drink. I even thought of it, though she spent the entire night with a couple of guys. Not exactly an opportunity to approach someone. But at the end of the night, she walked off alone, not with the guys. I could've chased her down, regardless of the fact that she was probably too young for me. But I wish I had the courage for that kind of thing.

Just like the movie said, there are opportunities that arrive, and you take them or you don't. This one I didn't.

But after 10 years, I'm glad that someone took the opportunity to make that movie.