Are other people debilitated by the knowledge that you should do something, are supposed to do something, and NEED to do something... but you don't do it? I'm in that place.

A major life turning point, and the onus appears to be on me to do something, but I can't pull the trigger. Because I know that it will irreparably change my life, and as far as I can see it, not the better.

It's kind of like the moment before you jump out of a plane. Except the point of jumping out of a plane is the rush, the fun, the excitement (I've done it, so I can relate to that). This is the exact opposite: there's nothing but dread, and fear, and uncertainty on the other side.

But when is enough enough? What about the uncertainty that I'm living with? Is that worse? It makes me think that I wouldn't do well with coping with the onset of a major disease - because I am better off in the uncertainty, where I can will myself to believe that things might turn around from being dire, even when the evidence is piling up that it won't.

I should do it. But I can't.