Reality as Imagination

Zach is coping with the loss of family stability in his life, in so many ways, even though he's doing a marvelous job of retaining his happiness, openness and personality. 

While taking a walk tonight, Zach turns and says, "I won't want Momma to died". I immediately stop, go down on one knee and ask Zach if he needs a hug. "Zach, Momma's not going to die. Why are you afraid she's going to die?". "I just don't want her to die". I give him a big hug, reassuring him that she's not going to die. 

Ironically, later that night, Zach wanted to look at pictures of Momma as a little girl. We're paging through a photo album, and then come across photos of her own mother, who passed away around 9 years ago. Far too young to die, of a freak blood condition that was left untreated by a hospital, leading to her very unnecessary death. Zach hasn't really heard much about her up until this point, but of course, I had to address the fact that she had... died. Thereby invalidating exactly what I had been telling him an hour earlier, saying that Mommas don't die. Because sometimes they do. My own mother died when I was 6 1/2. 

Driving home, Zach then said that he wanted Momma to be a little girl. "I want Momma to be a little girl, and I'll be a little boy, and you'll take care of us". I asked him if he wanted this so we could all be together. "Yeah... actually, I want you to be a little boy and me to be a little boy, and Momma will take care of both of us". Clearly, Zach was trying to work out a way in his own head for all of us to be together. If it can't happen in real life, he would prefer to imagine an alternate version of life where we are a family again.

He also said that he loves me even when I’m a potato that’s being cooked. So take that for what it's worth.